We'll see if I can get through this, eh?
So. I just did a run of The King and I. It was... really blah.
The production itself was really good. I'm not sure that the casting choice of the King was, as it were, ideal, but then, there were NOT a lot of qualified auditioners. Let's just leave it at that. He's a good friend of mine, and I'm glad he got the chance to play that role, but... it definitely wasn't type-casting. All things considered, he did very well.
But that's not the point here. The point is me. And the fact that I hate theater right now.
I would show up every day and think, ugh. I'm so over this. When can I go home?
I'm just not excited about theater right now. In fact, as aforementioned, I hate it.
There are a couple of reasons. One of the big ones is that I want to play a lead at some point, and I just don't see it happening. J.A., my director friend, who pretty much promised me a lead role in King&I, totally screwed me over. On the one hand, sure. It worked out fine for him not to give me a lead part. He still got my support, I showed up and did everything that was asked of me. On the other hand, I have to wonder how much he tried to get me that part. He told me that his production team had a big part in making those casting decisions, and reading between the lines, that says to me that they overruled him. Did he have to pick his battles? One of his really good friends ended up playing Lady Thiang (which is NOT a role I was up for). Did he choose to fight to cast her, instead of fighting for me?
Going to a different theater is an option that wearies me. If I do that, I'll have to find a show that has a big ensemble. Then I'll have to deal with being in a show where I only go onstage a couple times, in the big ensemble numbers. THEN I'll have to deal with stupid loud people that I want to punch in the face backstage (or worse, I'll have to deal with children). On top of all that stupid crap, I'll have to do it all while watching someone in the lead role that isn't even as good as me. Then I'll have to do it again. And again. To get a big role in a community theater production, in fact, I'll have to stick with the same theater and/or director for several years. (As J.A. is currently in the process of proving -- thanks a lot.) (In fact, he's also in the process of proving that I have to not only be friends with the director, but with the entire production team - stage manager, vocal director(s), AND choreographer. I may or may not give him another chance to drive home that point.)
The other reason I hate theatre is because I've done three shows in a row now. I started rehearsals in October, and I've been working on something ever since. Even my "break" before King and I didn't really count for me, since it wasn't nearly long enough.
There's got to be more to it; after all, I have an entire Bachelor's Degree just in theater. So much of it during college didn't drive me crazy; there's got to be a reason why it's driving me nuts now. Of course, I wasn't performing in college, just studying.
Anyway, this whole post sounds really super bitter. (Especially the bitter parts.) Can we just agree to not hold it against me? Life's not fair, I admit, and I'm not here to be pampered or pandered to or anything like that. And I'm sure everyone picks up similar things to be bitter about during their lives. I'm pretty sure this bitterness has something to do with my anti-theatre kick right now. I can't figure out if it's a cause or effect. Or maybe they're both effects. In any case, that's where I'm at right now, and why the place I'm at isn't a stage.